The Malcolm Wilson………..

Hello good people. Well, it was a trip down south at the weekend for Team Africa Rallying, the Loch District to be precise where the Malcolm Wilson rally beckoned. After a 3am 8 mile jog followed by a 10 mile cycle i finally left at 4.30 am Glasgow bound to meet the troops. Was good to catchup after the tragic Snowman Rally in Inverness a couple of weeks ago. Before long we arrived at our first stage. Davie AKA Sam Dingle-due to his likeness to the Emmerdale star was very proud of his new clobber, he sported a pair of outdoor trousers and was keen to let us all know. The truth is,these breeks looked like they’d been bought at the Barra’s,£4 each or 3 for a tenner! As long as he was pleased though…. Big Mark AKA Marvin from the Scheme- then appeared with some serious headgear c/w dreadlocks and basically raised the bar for Team Africa, he did actually look more like a horrible transvestite than an African! As long as he was pleased though….. With Mark as always was Connor. Connor is the quiet one of the group.You never know where you stand with the one’s that don’t share much,i actually think one day Connor will walk into his local shopping centre with a machine gun and just go completly nuts. I’d hazard a guess that he is already torturing small animals and insects etc. As for the others, Chris was a bit peturbed after catching his mrs kissing a couple of randoms at the SECC the night before, however,before long the texts were being exchanged and he was caught calling her ” Honeybunney”  MAN UP LADDIE!!! As for Craig, well, Craig likes his sweeties more than most, he actually ended up in a van that was full of cakes and Harribo’s. The said van was seen rocking side to side furiously in a layby near Hobcarton, each to their own……  As for the Rally, young Craig found us some cracking bends . The pace of the top boys really surprised me,easily the quickest national event i have been to. As expected a Scot won, ( simply because we are quicker than the Welsh and English).Euan Thoburn was on it all day, check out his in-car on his FB page,simply outstanding. Mr Bogie crashed out right beside us but did seem relieved truth be told.Hopefully he will get the handling sorted out for the Border rally. So, at the end of the day, it was night. Home at ten pm utterly shattered after climbing mountains in record breaking time.One was so steep that birds would not fly that high as there was not enough oxygen. Anyway, will write about Team Africa’s antics on the Border Rally in 3 weeks. Chow.

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Aye well……..

What a moving tribute that was to Colin McRae last week on good ole Auntie Beeb, for a minute it did look like the Chris Hoy’s favourite jollys show,i mean, what a gig he had that week eh! In the end we were all reminded that we have lost an incredible talent in Colin and it was quite touching to hear Jimmy talk about his eldest. It had me thinking about my memories of Colin, the time he flew past us on the motorway in Wales, i say motorway, Colin was driving on the grass verge on the other side of the hard shoulder! The shy Colin who looked totally uncomfertable signing autographs at the McRae Stages forum. The Colin that was totally sideways in the 6R4 on a fast downhill lefthander in Craik, i can go on but i think you’re getting the point.The man is a legend who will never be forgotten to anyone that witnessed his incredible talent. PS, i wouldn’t expect to see Sir Chris Hoy at a gale driven,sodden Charterhall watching the STRC anytime soon despite his alleged love for the sport.


Have myself a puppy now, a Border collie, can’t believe the impact she has had on me, she is Black and White, this got me wondering, if we still had to pay for dog licence’s, would i pay less than someone with a coloured dog? ( one for the older readers there!).


Nice to see the French taking up arms and engaging in a bit of combat for the first time in century’s. There is no truth in the rumour that they jumped onto the ship and looked for the cannons protruding the sides!


A lot has been made about Rangers fans boycotting yesterdays match at Tannadump, given as the Gers took 350 fans to the game,are we to believe that Dundee Utd have been boycotting every away game this season? Whilst i’m on it, Utd have long used the phrase ” Sporting integrity” when it came to kicking Rangers when they were down,how it was totally wrong to boycott et where was the Utd fans integrity when the told their chairman that they would not be attending home games if he voted to allow the Gers into the SPL?


What a fantastic entry for the snowman rally so far, 110 received already. It seems Scotland has yet again the strongest/best championship in the UK.


I wonder what the left wingers have to say about the two monsters that executed the17 year old boy by ” mistake”. ” Oh, the parents got divorced when they were young” or perhaps ” society made them that way”, utter bullshit, these two specimens actually deserve to die a slow painful death.

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Back again.

Well good people, it’s been a long time since my last blog, i’d like to pretend i’ve been off to far away shores or been busy performing brain surgery and generally saving the planet but the truth is, i forgot my password! So here we are, the new season is nearly upon us,another year of trudging through forests in every type of weather imaginable except sunshine. Some events last year had more delays than live television from Iraq, the amount of times i questioned my sanity in the past 12 month’s for getting up at stupid oclock to go and climb hills that a gurkha would shy away from- really was getting too frequent. Why carry on, because the buzz i get when i see a car on the limit is the same now as it was when i first saw Stig Blomqvist in the Quattro many years ago.Can there really be a better sport than Rallying, visiting remote places all over the UK, seeing stunning scenery and witnessing some incredible driving to boot. Let’s not forget the banter, the good banter often makes up for disappointing event. Having started competing myself i actually missed being out there in the trenches trying to get some good picture’s. Anyway, enough of all this sentimental bullshit, lookout for the blogs becoming more regular,starting next week as i bore you all with my account of achieving a lifetime ambition, competing myself. Anyway, back to Coronation Street, living the dream eh.

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After ranting m…

After ranting my way through my blog last week re car club’s being more pro-active, i was well pleased to see an Autotest being held a mere three miles from my house on Sunday, i was not aware of it and did not arrive to ask what was going on until 10.45 am,it kicked off at 11pm, quick visit to petrol station and bish bosh i was on the line to start. Must say, what a relaxed friendly atmosphere, as much as i love Rallying, you don’t have to walk to far along a service area to find someone head planted firmly inside their own arse, there was no evidence of that here as all seemed keen to chat. For a handsome fifteen english pounds we were afforded 12 runs over four tests. I finished sixth loser out of fifteen starters,although i later realised i’d been handed a twenty second penalty,hmm,could have been third loser. Anyway, a huge well done to Glenrothes Motor Sport Club for staging the event. One thing did dampen my day though, on the way home my girlfriend and i tried to have oral sex whilst driving, i never saw the police car behind us, we were charged for doing a 69 in a 30.

See you at Kames on Sunday good people and remember, if you’re sideways i will photograph you.

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Club nights.

When I was a lad (Never thought I’d be writing that at the tender, youthful, cataract free age of forty) I read Rally Sport magazine from cover to cover, I enviously studied the club section, a calendar of events and club nights put on by car clubs the length and breadth of the British isles. I wished I was old enough to go along with the adults to these regular meetings, the video evenings, the “meet the drivers “nights etc. One day!  Well, years late I did join a car club and to be frank, it was dull. Hardly any members, certainly no TV screen to watch Seb Leob win his 459th World Rally Championship. There were not many spoken words (I’ve heard more conversations in a mute only library) and off those that were uttered most seemed to follow a long pause. Needless to say I soon left and settled back into my usual routine of watching the Bill on a Thursday evening (I had a strange crush on June Ackland). Having wrote all that at least that particular car club put on regular members nights. There are a fair few that don’t! I’m not in any way blaming car clubs but do they do enough to promote themselves? I have never read an advert in my local rag publicising a car club, I have never been to a fete or a gala and saw a stall with a couple of rally cars trying to attract new blood into the sport. This new blood could be marshalling at an event near you, we all realise how scarce marshals are in our sport. Are people too busy to attend club meetings, is there far more to entertain the masses these days? Take Wales for example, great attendance at club nights, regular forum nights that sell out, book launches that are supported by well-known drivers/navigators ( that reminds me, I once wanted to write a book on Scottish rallying but received absolutely no help from a certain Glasgow based car club). Let’s not forget, car clubs do a great job, they organise events which I imagine can be a thankless task, there are individuals out there that dedicate themselves to putting on first class events for others pleasure. Having read that back it may seem I’m giving clubs a hard time , I don’t mean to but I just went on one of the largest clubs in the country and their website is still previewing an event for 2010.

Right, where is that The Best Of The Bill  DVD……………………………………

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Well that’s the Scottish over for another year. Normally i’d now bang on  about the classic events of the eighties but if i reflect too much i fear i might give up on the sport altogether. That’s not to say the current event is bad, it’s actually a good rally but if the old event was a cold bottle of Magners( with ice) after a nine hour exploration through the Amazon jungle , the 2012 example is a warm Sodastream Cola. One thing’s for sure Mr Bogie was his usual very fast and efficiant self . His commitment is total. Can we just give him the trophy now please. I used to think Clatteringshaws/Kirroughtree Midge were in no uncertain terms the top dog in the scottish midge scene.NO. The new undisputed heavyweight champion of the galaxy goes to the forest of AE. Ten million flying piranha’s to one square inch. Hell on earth. Good to hear terrific feedback from the competitors about the rally.In this day and age, 107 cars on a forest rally is superb. Well done to the organisers,marshals etc.

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What is going o…

What is going on with the WRC? The new promoter was supposed to be announced on the 15th, still no sign. Not a rush on to secure the rights to such a prestigious,coveted beacon of world motorsport? That’s right,not! The championship is heading down the tubes and has been for some time. What happened to the newly mooted round in Brazil? It’s not on next years calender.I also see there’s been a u turn on the decision to move the Rally GB from Wales to oop North,how refreshing would that have been. .I was talking to someone the other day and explained that i’d just bought a rally car  ” Is that the same a the stock car’s?” That’s where the sport’s at right now. The public have no idea about the sport we love. How we need another Colin McRae.

I was let down a bit by a sponsor yesterday.Note to self, ALWAYS double check exactly what the sponsor is offering!

I’ll learn ( one sunday during the week).


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